Mother's family - men and
women – are all asexual, father's side are all promiscuous.
Father's attitude to sex as dirty
and all women as whores. Mother was subtly incestuous.
Example of ambient, emotional incest: she reacts to the
child’s compliments or insults regarding her appearance as a lover would.
The narcissist can be with a woman in one of two ways:
1. As an asexual child with his mother (long-term
life partner); or
2. As a promiscuous but stern father with a disposable
slut to be sexually despoiled and verbally abused (disciplined).
When the narcissist loves a woman as he had loved his
mother, as a long-term intimate partner (he always loves women as a
child loves his mother), he renders myself asexual, so as to
When he desire a throwaway woman, like his
promiscuous father did, he transforms myself into her stern disciplinarian
father: he hates and fears the woman, he sadistically despoils, torments,
taunts, frustrates, and abuses her in every way, and he pushes her away, often
towards other men (partly to reaffirm his view of women and for the other shoe
The narcissist fantasizes not about sex but about
humiliating, trashing, despoiling, and degrading the woman, alone or with
others (in group sex). He is a sexual sadist.
Given the opportunity and consent, the narcissist
sexually assaults.Conventional sex leads his
ultimately to boredom and ED (erectile dysfunction). He uses even group
sex merely to despoil and humiliate the female.
The narcissist is to women what a pedophile is to
children: sadistic monster.
Women cannot reconcile true intimacy and
love with the narcissist’s objectifying, despoiling, and sadistic sex. The former preclude for them the
STAGE I: INDULGING HIM SEXUALLY
At first -
when the attachment and bonding between us are minimal - women
indulge the narcissist sexually.
and solidifies his own attachment to and bonding with the woman.
STAGE II: CUTTING OFF HIS KIND OF SEX
then get attached and bonded and they demand to revert to
conventional intimate sex. They refuse to continue to have the narcissist’s
kind of sex.
STAGE III: SEXLESSNESS
point, the narcissist develops sex aversion or even ED and the
relationship is rendered increasingly sexless and disintimate.
The narcissist’s attachment and bonding
weaken: he begins to
regard the relationship as a chore and the woman as a nuisance because he
is not getting his sexual needs and desires met.
STAGE IV: CHEATING or BREAKUP
narcissist is still attached and bonded and refuses to let go of the
woman or set her free, despite her desperate attempts to break
up (erotomanic stalking).
Women either stay with him (for material reasons), render
services, but are free to cheat on him serially and
indiscreetly; or women triangulate
ostentatiously in order to terminate his stalking.
He is forced
to choose between loveless sex and sexless love and in both
cases endure mortifying betrayal.